Every day I hear "I want to leave this place", and though I contradict them all, I feel the same. It does, yes, feel inspiring to be here. It feels depressing and sad and lonely, although there is plenty to do. Do you think it's because of the season? Does winter kill it everywhere? I feel that my work looks like a student project. I have started shooting film, but I don't feel positive about it. Parallel planes don't excite me that much anymore and I am trying something new. You won't see it here, for now. I won't neither until I'm back in Montreal. What are we missing in this country? What makes us sad? Why don't we like ourselves?

Antonioni's Red Desert makes me feel just the way winter in Romania does. I feel disconnected (ha ha). 

Is it the idea that things happen outside our micro universes that make us feel this frustrated? Or is is purely material reasons? Does the bacteria in me feel hungrier? Well, I guess it does.

I just felt like taking photos...and left the concept aside. But at one point I felt the need to find a pivot. Here it is, and I stole it from a Romanian painter, Comanescu: "I want to leave, I think I'm repeating myself." It's what it is. And trust me, my job ain't difficult. They are everywhere. And they all want to leave. And they all will, because they're smart. A bit behind in ethics and finesse, but they don't really need that to survive. They will feel better and will be appreciated for their workforce. You see, it doesn't really make sense to me. They are anything BUT workaholics. And yet, they become so when they leave. I think it's ambition. We are ambitious. More than others, I guess. And so, we succeed. But we are not the best. We are rarely the best. We are good. We understand technicalities but we can't learn elegance. I tell you, it doesn't stick to us. Now that I'm saying it, it just feels right and logical and I don't feel the need to explain it, because you understand it too. Here it is, darling: