Dear actors,

I have been spending the last few days feeling.
It started with a girl, how else, and now with a bit of rum an Pepsi.
Rucsandra is two years older than me. We met, for the first time in 8 years in Carrefour. I was buying celery and tomato juice with Oana. She recognized me right away, even though I had been growing this long beard and, I believe, changed a lot. She was friendly, as always. A month later I sent her a message, and the next day we met. As always, she was friendly. We had hot chocolate and we talked about penises and vagina, amongst others. We both new this was going somewhere but it was interesting that things were moving fast. The next day she invited me over and proposed that I spend the night at her place. The next Friday night, that is..
I accepted, though, two nights before that Friday, I told her that I cannot sleep with her in the same bad, or in the same apartment. I told her that we're obviously physically attracted to each other and that I don't think it would be appropriate to have sex. I still don't know why I decided not to sleep with her. Now that I think about, it must be the fact that she is taller than me, and older, and has slept with many guys and the fact that I still care about Alexandra, and she wouldn't raise to my expectations. That kind of mix. Plus, I know my penis wouldn't raise to her expectations.
Besides that, I was doing pretty well. She likes me, and does something I love women for: she acts like a woman. She knows I'm the one with the penis and not her age, or her height. She acts like a spoiled kid, and us men, love that. I do. More than others.
One night, before going home, I stopped by her place to say good night. She waited for me down stairs, dressed in what I think it was he pajamas. I kissed her on the cheek while holding her waist with my right hand. I could feel her skin. She was wearing lipstick, freshly applied. We were both acting like 14 year olds, and our hearts were beating fast. I spent 5 minutes at her place.
The next day I went back. It was Friday afternoon. I met her room mate, and we talked, then we went to her room where we talked and laughed. The whole romance was gone.
I wondered why.
The next day I told her I wanted to visit this store, and she offered to join. We had fun in the store, and then we bought wine, and we went to her place, again. She had one glass, and I had 2. Merlot.
We got dizzy and I kissed her neck and then her shoulders. I had 3 minutes left till departure. It ended like that. I left at 8:35. She was meeting a guy I happened to know...at 10PM. A date.
I haven't spoken to her ever since.

I thought about this "relationship". I guess we were both lacking the same thing: affection. She has always been appreciated for her body and guys have tried to take advantage of her, and I have been away for 6 months... Holding a woman in my arms, smelling her skin, those animal like games we play....I missed all that.

While seeing her, I thought of an interesting project. I started it and tried to upload it on the blog but things didn't work out.
It's a video of me, eating. It lasts for about 5 minutes. I want to make a series of videos of me, eating, in different states of mind.

While I was dizzy one night, I came up with another idea.. I want to make sculptures of frames coming out of the wall, covered with  canvases... It would all be about form... I have this image in my head. I will try to make it visual.. soon...

In the end, I share with you 2 portraits I took last week of these two florists that let me take photos of them.
I don't know the first one's name but I know the second's: Mirel. His yahoo id is passiondemirel. His name must be Mirel, right? Don't laugh. I really tried to get what's human out of these portraits, and not the irony.



A plus.